It’s hard for me to complain about too much of anything, not that I don’t want to. I could, I suppose. Certainly the desire to complain is there, on and off throughout the day. My life isn’t exactly perfect. I know sorrow, frustration, depression, and anxiety — nearly every day of my life. I don’t talk too much about any of it though, with too many people. What’s the point…?

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I don’t want to blow my toxic impurities into somebody else’s mind. I’ve always seen complaining to others as equivalent aiming an exhaust pipe of a car directly into somebody else’s state of being.

I’m always surprised how many people don’t see it that way — that they don’t realize or don’t care that they’re spewing gases into the psyches of others. Complaining must feel pretty good to them — I mean, if they are willing to do it so frequently and so nonchalantly. Few people, it seems, take time to consider that the person they are complaining to might be having a good day. Or on the flipside, that they might be having a horrible day. And that’s the thing about complaining, it can make someone else’s good day bad, or a bad day worse.

I’d rather hold my gripes in and release them elsewhere, without ever saying a word to, and negatively impacting another. Framed that way, complaints are the greenhouse gasses of culture.

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I get to spend time each day walking in nature and observing small things. I get sit quietly each evening, on my porch with my dog and watch the coastal breezes push my palm trees slightly to the right. I get to ride my bikes and experience the thrill of rolling downhill at speeds up to 40 mph. I get to lift weights to let of steam.

In truth, I don’t get to do any of these. I choose to do them. These are my complaint filters — they minimize my cultural carbon footprint.

Anyone of those, by the way, might be considered an addiction — just for the fact that I move heaven and earth to make sure they each happen every day. However, those addictive behaviors have a value beyond helping me, they help society because participating in any of them helps keep me from dumping my would-be complaints onto others.

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Anything I might have complained about before riding my bikes, before walking in the woods, before sitting still on my porch, or before lifting my aggressions away, disappears as quickly as I’m engaged in any of them. By the time I’m through with them, I have nothing left to complain about. My gases have been filtered out.

I think this is a good way to be.

Sure, we all need somebody to talk to, but do we really need to poison them…?

This is what I think about when I ride… Jhciacb

This Week By The Numbers…

Bikes Ridden: 5
193 miles
7,200’ climbing
15.4 mph avg
11,000 calories

Whether you ride a bike or not, thank you for taking the time to ride along with me today. If you haven’t already, please scroll up and subscribe. If you like what you read, give it a like and a share. If not, just keep scrollin’. Oh, and there is this from The Spinanes. Enjoy…

13 thoughts on “Complaint Filters…

  1. As always Roycef, I love your words. I think that all humans need humans. I think that as a friend you can choose to be a tube or a bucket. You can listen and support and let it go in one ear pass your heart then out the other ear. Or you can be a bucket, in one ear, carry it in yourself and it becomes a burden or a stress. I mostly choose to be a tube. People need to be heard! Love you

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A very good comment, Miss Terri, and I appreciate your perspective!

      Perhaps I’m a human being who was born as a bucket. I will definitely keep what you said in mind, because it makes a lot of sense…

      Like

  2. For me I call complaining venting,to want things better. I was taught to look at complaints as an opportunity to problem solve and find solutions to pursue happiness in work and life.From the time we wake up each day,we two things in our control. Our Attitude and Behavior. I appreciate your words and your way of filtering complaints. Many Blessings to you my brother.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I take umbrage as a chronic complainer. Kvetching is a noble art. Nobody wants to hear pollyannaish people chirping about how wonderful everything is all the time. A well placed complaint on occasion is like a fine whine.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great story and advice, Roy! I can’t imagine what I would be like without my running; I joke about what a psychiatrist would have cost me. Now I realize what the other costs might have been 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good Sunday to you, Roy! I truly get where you’re coming from on this one, as I’ve been there myself. However, I will say that in my experience over the years I’ve decided there is a difference between complaining just to be complaining and talking about your feelings and problems with someone you trust and who cares about you. As great as nature and exercise are, and I’m a HUGE proponent of both, neither of them can talk back to you with their own fresh perspective or ideas you never would have thought of on your own. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been knocked over by a response from a friend of family member that completely flipped my perspective on something or helped me solve a problem in a way that wasn’t even on my radar. And that’s from the talker’s perspective. From the listener’s perspective, all I would say is choose your listeners wisely and then don’t underestimate their willingness to want to help and connect. When a friend chooses to “complain” to me or talk about something negative, all I feel is grateful that they trust me enough to be real. And it, selfishly, feels good when I can help someone – either by offering a perspective or solution, or just by listening when they need to vent. And our connection deepens – which is the true gift to both talker and listener. There is no right answer to this. We’re all different, as talkers and listeners. All I know is that before my mom died I was very much a keep-it-to-myselfer and after she died I realized all the beauty and connection that arises from being a sharer, of both the positive and the shared experience of the negative. Turning into a sharer has enriched my life immensely. Sorry to go on at length, but this one particularly touched a note with me. 🙂 For the record, I always feel enriched when you choose to share your thoughts, positive and negative, here on your site. 🙂

    By the way, I LOVE your pic of the blue lifeguard tower number 6 with your green bike! How beautiful! I would legit hang that up in my house. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As always, thank you very much for taking the time. You are one more of a handful of people who have made me see this differently. And in truth, at a deeper level I’ve probably seen it your way for a long time. But your framing it in reference to your mother’s passing really got to me.

      I know I’ve needed to truly talk things through with people and not just dump on them. I think my weakness is that I care so much about the few people I trust, I’ve always been afraid to burden them with my own baggage.

      That’s one thing about being outdoors and/or exercising that works for me — it forces me not only to talk to myself, but to listen to myself. Maybe I’m a loner’s best friend, I don’t know.

      Anyway, as always I appreciate your reframing my own words for me and helping me see them better.

      Lastly, I wish that wasn’t a smartphone picture, I would blow it up and send it to you. I may even try, but typically they don’t do that well with resolution over 5 x 7.

      Like

      1. 1. You will not be a burden. Stop thinking that. There’s a reason you trust them – you’re no dummy at picking friends. 2. Nature also helps me to listen to myself. That’s a good way to put it. 3. Send me a 5×7. I have plenty of places to put a 5×7. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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